Fat is treason

Regardless of your political convictions (i.e., whatever your representative has been convicted of),  I think we can agree that we should all take some personal responsibility for our own healthcare expenditures. The biggest health risk in America today — and for me personally — is obesity. I’m not like Biggest Loser fat, but I should drop about 30 pounds immediately and work gradually on trimming another 30 before going into maintain-mode.

This is why I believe that the only way to really make America healthy, regardless of what if anything gets done in Washington, is to get trim. We shouldn’t ask Uncle Sam to help us pay for our health care until we do all we can to bring those doctor bills down ourselves. In short:

Fat is treason.

The healthcare debate in this country has taken a sharp, hairpin turn this week. Personally, I think it’s a turn for the worse, but I’m willing to take Scott Brown at his word. First, I believe he’s going to single-handedly scuttle a year’s worth of work on this issue, just like he said he would. But I also believe that he personally is in favor of healthcare reform, just against mandating how each state should address the problem. He is, after all, a Massachusetts (ck sp) Republican, who tend to be more sane moderate than the national party. He supported the Bay State’s own version of universal coverage, which was signed into law by a GOP governor. The Tea Party populism, I hope, was just electioneering. (His news conference Wednesday morning was a whole lot less scary than his manic victory speech Tuesday night.)

So now we need to proceed in a bipartisan way. I think the Democrats are willing to do this. They really don’t have a choice. The question is, are the Republicans? I don’t think so, but we’ll all find out together. They haven’t even brought up the subject since 1971. Outside of W’s increase in drug coverage to seniors — which was also a handout to the pharma companies — they haven’t shown any leadership except in complaining about being shut out of the process.

So it’s up to us: Jane and Joe Lunchbucket (better make it a veggie tuna whole-wheat wrap).  Time to start a grass-roots movement (which, if you think about it, is the entire purpose of whole wheat).  Our rallying cry, “Fat is treason!” Now all we need is an anthem. Wait! I have that covered too (with apologies to Bob Dylan):

Come gather, round people, wherever you roam

And admit that the blubber around you has grown

And accept it that soon you’ll need your own time zone

If your time to you is worth savin’

Then you better start swimmin’ or you really will sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin’.


Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen

And get your face out of the freezer again.

Suckin’ in your gut won’t stop the scale dial’s spin

And it’s only you that it’s shamin’.

Get rid of the goop between you and your skin

For the times they are a-changin’.


Come senators, congressmen, please heed the call …

(Oh, you won’t? Never mind then. Next verse.)


Come mothers and fathers throughout the land

And stop feeding your kids from the hot dog stand

Your sons and your daughters must wear stretchy waistbands

It should be hormones, not glucose, that’s ragin’.

Don’t just thaw out pizza and watch them expand

For the times they are a-changin’.


The line it is drawn, the curse it is cast

Are you destined to be some couchbound fat-ass?

The answer is not in gastro bypass

Stop that refrigerator raidin’.

It’s time to start shrinkin’ your body mass

For the times they are a-changin’.


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